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Quotations A few of my favourite

Here's a few of my favourite quotations I pulled together...

 Always program as if the person who will be maintaining your program is a violent psychopath that knows where you live. 

Martin Golding

 Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear. 

Albert Camus

 I believe that an orderly universe, one indifferent to human preoccupations, in which everything has an explanation even if we still have a long way to go before we find it, is a more beautiful, more wonderful place than a universe tricked out with capricious ad hoc magic. 

Richard Dawkins

 There are two hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-1 errors. 

Leon Bambrick

 My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. 

Vladimir Nabokov

 When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. 

Emo Philips

 I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence... 

Doug McLeod

 The U.S. Constitution may not be perfect, but it's better than what we've got now. 

Sandy Shaw

 If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime. 

David Leinweber

 There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. 

Douglas Adams

 Don't hate the media, become the media 

Jello Biafra

 Puritanism- The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. 

H. L. Mencken

 Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. 

Aldous Huxley

 A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fuckin' cross? It's kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on. 

Bill Hicks

 Religion ... has certain ideas at the heart of it which we call sacred or holy or whatever. What it means is, 'Here is an idea or a notion that you're not allowed to say anything bad about; you're just not. Why not? Because you're just not. If someone votes for a party that you don't agree with, you're free to argue about it as much as you like; everybody will have an argument but nobody feels aggrieved by it. ... But on the other hand, if somebody says 'I mustn't move a light switch on a Saturday', you say 'I respect that'. 

Douglas Adams

 I love to go down to the school yard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks. 

Emo Philips

 Since Auschwitz we know what man is capable of. And since Hiroshima we know what is at stake. 

Viktor Frankl

 Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it. 

John Lennon

 Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen. 

Edward V Berard

 With or without religion you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. 

Steven Weinberg

 Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it. 

Brian W. Kernighan

 The best cure for Christianity is to read the Bible. 

Mark Twain

 Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it. 

George Bernard Shaw

 Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music. 

Marcus Brigstocke

 Oldness comes to rile / The youth who dream suicide. 

Mark Kozelek

 It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law. 

Hofstadter's Law

 By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself 

Bill Hicks

 You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither. 

Steve Martin

 I think it's interesting the two drugs that are legal - alcohol and cigarettes, two drugs that do absolutely nothing for you at all - are legal, and the drugs that might open your mind up to realise how you're being fucked every day of your life? Those drugs are against the law. Coincidence? See, I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, cos I took 'em one time, you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours, going, 'My God, I love everything.' Yeah, now if that isn't a hazard to our countries... How are we gonna justify arms dealing if we know we're all one? 

Bill Hicks

 There is in every village a torch: the schoolmaster -- and an extinguisher: the parson. 

Victor Hugo

 That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence. 

Christopher Hitchens

 Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand. 

Martin Fowler

 It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. 

Mark Twain

 Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. 

W.C. Fields

 Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. 

Unknown

 Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. 

Edward Abbey

 Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. 

Michael Sinz

 If you want to save your child from polio, you can pray or you can inoculate. 

Carl Sagan

 The nice thing about internet standards is that there are so many to choose from... 

Unknown

 You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life. 

Emo Philips

 The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 Those willing to give up a little liberty for a little security deserve neither. 

Benjamin Franklin

 You can bet everything will come to an end. It's going to be ugly and it's going to be a mess, and it's going to be something that somebody did in the name of God.... 

Frank Zappa

 So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence; and in this respect ministers of religion follow gospel authority more closely than in some others. 

Bertrand Russell

 Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. 

Jeff Valdez

 Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. 

Mark Twain

 Great spirits have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly. 

Albert Einstein

 I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side. 

Bill Hicks

 Ayo, lesson here, Bey. You come at the king, you best not miss. 

Omar, The Wire

 The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question, is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey - don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride... And we... kill those people. 

Bill Hicks

 The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. 

Nathaniel Borenstein

 I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying. 

Woody Allen

 I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. 

Stephen Hawking

 The meaning of life is that it stops. 

Franz Kafka

 We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true. 

Robert Wilensky

 A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. 

Friedrich Nietzsche

 Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. 

Abraham Lincoln

 I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example. 

Mick Miller